It’s almost been a year since I joined a club I never wanted to be a member of.
For those who may be unfamiliar, last August my mom died unexpectedly.
It’s been rough, losing my closest confidante, my scrapbooking buddy, and the one human I loved more than any other in the world.
My mother, the most gracious and giving person you’d ever know, was here one moment and gone the next, having finally met her Savior face to face.
I didn’t have much time to really mourn following her passing. My father was in the hospital fighting for his own sanity, and he was my sole focus for months. My own health teetered through the fall and into winter as I struggled to stay tuned into reality.
As the new year neared, I was finally beginning to feel a bit like my old self, minus my mom, and resume some activities I had enjoyed prior to losing her.
Then 2020 happened.
I was going through some old files today and stumbled upon a column I had written 10 years ago … and began to cry.
My mom’s all-time favorite hymn was “Blessed Assurance,” and I could feel her spirit near as I read the following, dated April 22, 2010:
My husband and I have had to navigate through some pretty rough patches recently. One, in particular, was we lost two of our horses — both of which we had raised from birth — in a matter of weeks.
It has been hard to hold onto hope during these trials and tribulations. We keep questioning why is this happening, where is God and is He even listening to our cries?
As a way to cope, I’ve been surfing YouTube for glimpses into nostalgia to remind me of happier, lighter times.
In one of my latest clicking sprees, I came across a video by the southern gospel and bluegrass family The Isaacs. The song was an old familiar hymn,
Written in 1873 by famed songwriter Fanny Crosby, this tune is one of my mother’s favorites. I grew up listening to her play it on piano wherever we were, whether it be in one of my dad’s small country churches or at a nursing home service or simply practicing at home.
Part of it goes this way: “Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine! Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine! ... Watching and waiting, looking above, Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.”
Whether we feel lost, disappointed or depressed, we still have the assurance God still is there.
Assurance translates to having full confidence, trust, and ultimately faith in Him.
Hebrews 10 talks about this assurance, summed up in verse 22: “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.”
The Lord didn’t say it would be easy — Scripture repeatedly testifies to that — but if we trust Him, no matter the circumstance, we will be victorious in the end.
“This is my story, this is my song, praising my Savior all the day long …”