When I get impatient and frustrated, my husband always comments, “Patience, dear.”
You know how much I appreciate it when he says that? (Insert sarcasm here)
But if I were to think about it, it’s the Lord speaking through him, so I really should take it to heart and calm down.
It’s not easy to do when you feel like the world around you is falling apart.
I know I’ve talked about stepping out on faith before, but there is a huge difference between talking about it and actually doing it.
And right now I’m doing it and truly beginning to question what the heck I am doing.
As you well know, I’m a type A personality. I like to plan ahead and be proactive. For the most part that is an excellent skill to have. It has served me quite well in the past and I would like to think it will for the future as well.
However, in the present moment, I’m way behind the curve ball so to speak. All plans for 2022 went out the window the moment I heard the surgeon utter the words “worst case scenario” and “emergency surgery. ”
Factor in my father, whose well-being has become a top priority for me in recent months, and, well, kiss any sense of normalcy for the rest of this year goodbye.
No kidding, my world did a complete one-eighty in April, and it has not been any resemblance of sane since.
I seriously have no idea what I’m doing. It’s hour to hour, day to day.
I feel a little like Abram in Genesis 12. God called him to pack up his household and leave everyone and everything familiar behind and go. Abram wasn’t given a map nor was he told when he’d reach his destination. All the Lord said was, and I’m paraphrasing verses 2-3: “Obey and I will bless you abundantly.”
Hebrews 11:8 puts it this way: “By faith Abraham, when he was called to go out into a place which he should after receive for an inheritance, obeyed; and he went out, not knowing whither he went.”
I suppose I should therefore offer a sermon on obedience; yet the word that the Lord keeps bringing to mind is patience.
Abram, aka Abraham, patiently followed God’s command to depart as directed and let the Lord show him what He wanted in due time.
I would prefer the Lord show me His calendar, that elusively colorful dayplanner for my life, but so far, He’s not been inclined to do so.
Instead He whispers “Be still. Be patient. Be assured I know what I Am doing.”
I was in the throes of a particularly distressing day yesterday when my music playlist began playing “Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone).” I began crying, which blurred my vision, so I had to pull over since I was in the middle of driving.
Chris Tomlin and Louie Giglio penned this song in 2005, crafting it in such a way that weaved the most well-known hymn in the world with modern lyrics that give a nod to the former slave trader’s redemption of no longer being enslaved to sin.
What struck me to tears was the reminder that my fears — no matter how insurmountable they may seem — have been relieved; my chains — everything that held me back and kept me locked from experiencing His will for me — are gone and I’ve been set free; and my hope is secured because He is my portion — He will provide for all my needs.
The Lord has promised to take care of me and to prosper me. Additionally, He will fight for me and shield me from harm. I just need to be still and keep carrying on in the faith.
Getting impatient, being anxious, and trying to accomplish things on my own will only bring me folly.
Did you know folly equals absurdity, craziness, foolishness, rashness, idiocy, lunacy, madness, recklessness, stupidity, and irrationality? None of those things are of God.
The next time my husband reminds me to calm down and be patient, I think maybe I will listen and obey.