Published: April 18, 2008 05:20 pm            

Spirit of service drives foster care providers

Therapeutic foster care is for children and teens needing a higher level of care from families with a higher level of training to deal with behaviors. The training is more extensive, and there are more behavior management classes.

In most cases, children who require therapeutic placement have suffered greater abuse, including physical and sexual abuse. Therapeutic foster care families must undergo multi-cultural and parenting training, and behavior management training to learn how to manage aggressive behavior.

Melissa McCauley has been therapeutic foster care parent since 1998.

McCauley said she began doing therapeutic foster care while living in New York in 1998 and cared for 10 different children until moving to Enid in 2001.

Melissa married her husband Mark in 2005 and convinced him to do therapeutic foster care. Now, the McCauleys care for three foster boys ages 5 to 14 live with the McCauleys and their two children.

“They’ve seen things no kid needs to see and have had things happen to them no kids should have happen to them,” Melissa said.

She said she enjoys being the one who stands between the children and the troubles they’ve had.

Youth & Family Services provides counseling as a part of the therapeutic foster care program. The decision to place a child or teen into a therapeutic foster care home is made by Oklahoma Department of Human Services.

The benefits include paid vacation, a local staff and facilities, support services for foster parents and biological children in the home and consistent pay, training opportunities and 24-hour on-call support.

Therapeutic Foster Care parents receive training in areas such as the effects of abuse and neglect on childhood development, attachment disorders, anger management and ongoing training to help meet the needs for children they care for.

Foster parents can be married, single or divorced. Parents must be at least 21 years old. There is no requirement for other children to be in the home or to have experience as a parent.

“The agency is really helpful,” Melissa said. “They’re really supportive.”

She said the boys in her care undergo an hour of counseling each week, for each boy.

“There are days that they are more emotional,” she said. “Some days they comment they don’t want to be in foster care anymore, they just want to go home. Children often only remember the good about home despite how bad it was.”

A foster parent is required to be in the line of sight of the child or teen 24 hours a day, except during school or other similar situations.

“Only a trained person can watch the children,” Melissa explained. “These kids could have anger issues and lash out at you, and you have to have somebody who knows how to handle the situation if a child lashes out at you.”

Although sometimes taxing, Melissa said there are others in the community involved with therapeutic foster care who can watch her three boys, if needed. She, too, can watch children of other therapeutic foster parents.

“We can contact another foster family if we are in need,” she said.

Melissa can offer respite care for other therapeutic foster care families in if they need a break.

“If somebody gets in a bind,” she said. “I can take another child.”

The fee paid to a therapeutic foster care family is more than traditional foster care, but more is expected of a therapeutic foster family.

Melissa said she and her husband chose to help children until they have reached a stage in which they can move to a non-therapeutic foster home.

The time she has spent with some of the children she has cared for has led to lifelong connections.

McCauley said one of the teens she cared for in New York was pregnant when she took care of her.

“I was her birth coach, and I taught her how to be a mom,” McCauley said. “We still stay in contact.”

For the past two years in Enid, Melissa said she and her husband have been caring mostly for boys.

Melissa said her husband Mark really connects with the boys.

“He is more like the kids’ best friend,” she said. “He really relates to the boys a lot.”

She said Mark works with the boys, teaching them woodworking and also takes them fishing.

“He just likes to do outdoor stuff with them,” she said. “He always has time for them.”

Melissa said Youth & Family Services Therapeutic Foster Care program allows her and her husband to positively impact the lives of children who have been exposed to emotional or physical abuse.

“I just want to make a difference in their lives.”

Those wanting information about Therapeutic Foster Care or who are interesting in becoming TFC parents can contact Youth and Family Services at 233-7220.