The Enid News and Eagle, Enid, OK

Opinion

March 24, 2014

Will Rogers Daily Telegrams 3-25-14

ENID, Okla. — MAYOR ROGERS SUGGESTS A NEW CAREER FOR LINDBERGH

BEVERLY HILLS, Cal. — June 10, 1927. I know Lindbergh has had all kinds of offers, but has he ever had an offer to be a Democrat?

He may be one. People who do strange and unusual things generally are. If he will run for the Democratic Presidency it will release for more or less practical work Al Smith, McAdoo and eighty-eight others. Then when Cal is summering with the farmers, let Lindy summer at Newport among people whose votes really count.

My only interest is in having elections competitive again.

Mayor Will.

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TRANSOCEAN FLIGHTS BRING OUT A NEW LESSON FOR WILL ROGERS

HOLLYWOOD, Cal., June 12, 1927. — I don’t think people have realized yet the most important thing these ocean flights have brought out, and that is the quicker transporting of our marines to other people’s wars.

In the last year transportation has held us back, sometimes a week or so late. But with airplanes there’s no excuse. So our slogan will be now: “Have your civil wars wherever and as far away as you want, but on the opening day we will be there.”

If Lindy will come here I will be glad to show him Mary Pickford’s home.

The Burgomaster,

Will Rogers.

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WILL ROGERS SENDS A WORD OF CONSOLATION TO DEMOCRATS

BEVERLY HILLS, Cal., June 13, 1927. — Democrats should never complain again. I thought they were worse off than anybody, but they are not. Look what happens in Russia to the party that criticizes their Government. Over here they are condemned, but not to death.

Yours,

The Busy Mayor.

P. S. — We are just sitting here in California right now doing nothing. Just waiting for two things — Lindy and Henry Ford’s new model.

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THOUGHTS FROM WILL ROGERS ON NATIONAL DISARMAMENT

BEVERLY HILLS, Cal., June 14, 1927. — They sure are disarming fast at the disarmament conference in Geneva. Japan insists on being allowed to have a navy equal to ours. I sometimes wonder if Mr. Coolidge does take these conferences seriously.

For two weeks last Summer I sat at Geneva and listened to one argument on disarmament, and if I could reproduce it on the stage I would have a better show than Ziegfeld ever had. Of all the fool things that we go into (and we don’t miss any) why, these disarmament conferences will go down as the prize.

No nation can tell another nation how little it shall protect itself.

The Burgomaster.

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WILL ROGERS FINDS WE HAVEN’T QUITE A CORNER ON DEMOCRACY

BEVERLY HILLS, Cal., June 15, 1927. — Our President left for a quiet vacation with twelve carloads of cameramen, reporters, cooks, valets, maids, butlers, doctors, military and naval attaches. I saw King George when he left Buckingham Palace in London last Summer for his vacation, and you could have put all he and Mary both had in a Ford truck.

We ain’t got exactly what you would call a corner on democracy.

Will.

P. S. — A stomach ache which the Mayor inherited from the last Administration was erroneously reported in the press today as nervous indigestion. It has been found to be nothing but the effects of home cooking. I’ve started eating in a different restaurant every meal now, and my stomach thinks I am in a different town every day, so I am back to normal again. Thanks for wires. One doctor thought I had had a prosperous enough season to call a bellyache appendicitis.

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FORTHCOMING OPERATION A JOKE TO WILL ROGERS

BEVERLY HILLS, Cal., June 16, 1927. — Here is where the joke writers and everybody get even with me.

When the doctors found it was not appendicitis, knowing me personally, they said it must be gall or cholelithiasis. So I am in the California Hospital, where they are going to relieve me of surplus gall, much to the politicians’ delight.

I am thrilled to death. Never had an operation, so let the stones fall where they may.

Will Rogers.

Enid News & Eagle is republishing Will Rogers’ daily syndicated column, Daily Telegrams, in chronological order. The collection was edited and republished by Oklahoma State University Press in 1978 and under copyright of the Will Rogers Memorial Commission.

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