The Enid News and Eagle, Enid, OK

Opinion

April 14, 2014

Will Rogers Daily Telegrams 4-15-14

ENID, Okla. — WILL ROGERS THINKS IRELAND STILL ALL RIGHT FOR TOURISTS

BEVERLY HILLS, Cal. — July 11, 1927. I knew that Vice President of Ireland that was murdered very well. He was a fine, able, conscientious man. I picked him then as one of the coolest, nerviest customers I ever met.

Hope this don’t stir up trouble for Ireland, for they were just coming along fine. Tourists, don’t miss it this Summer. If you do, you will miss more real hospitality and scenery than in any country in Europe.

Yours, The Conversing and Convalescing Mayor.

P. S. — Say, the Anti-Saloon League was about to let Calvin and Andy Mellon out, there one time. Guess they would have put Wayne B. Wheeler in as President and Billy Sunday as Secretary of the Treasury.

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OBSERVATIONS BY MR. ROGERS ON ANGLING IN SOUTH DAKOTA

BEVERLY HILLS, Cal., July 12, 1927. — They don’t no more than stop Cal fishing with worms than he goes out with flies and catches even more. If they stop his using flies, why, he is getting so Western that he is just liable to pull out his .44 and shoot a flock of fish, or take down his old lariat and four-foot enough for dinner. There’s no stopping the man. He is a modern Roosevelt.

Yours, a fisherman with a seine,

The Mayor.

P. S. — Judge Ben Lindsey is in Hollywood. His companionable marriage idea created no stir there at all. The idea is as old and commonplace out here as traffic lights.

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ROGERS NOTES AN INVASION OF FORDS FROM OKLAHOMA

BEVERLY HILLS, Cal., July 13, 1927. — Say, stop that Ford-Claremore-Beverly Hills flight. They are coming in here from Oklahoma so thick we can’t see the movie stars for Oklahoma Fords.

Every time I hear a noise outside I know it is another Ford car. They have made some great time. They have come over 1,800 miles in around three days and nights.

I will be careful with my jokes after this. It’s costing me more to joke than I get for them. So if there are any more Fords coming please turn back. Imploringly,

The Mayor.

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WILL ROGERS ACKNOWLEDGES HIS RED CROSS LIFE MEMBERSHIP

BEVERLY HILLS, Cal., July 14, 1927. — Today I got my official document from the Red Cross headquarters of being made a life member. Well, sir, I am just crazy about it for two reasons.

One, of course, is that it is the greatest organization in the United States (including the world). I think it’s greater than the Republican Party (including Government salaries). But the other reason is it looks like a diploma.

You know I never had any kind of diploma. I never finished from anything. I always did want something that looked important. I never even had an oil share.

I waited all these years to get something to frame. And if Congress don’t help the Mississippi Valley this next term I will devote my few remaining years to telling the truth about them.

Yours,

Will.

P. S. — The pay season on Oklahoma Fords entering Beverly Hills is closed, sine die, positively.

Enid News & Eagle is republishing Will Rogers’ daily syndicated column, Daily Telegrams, in chronological order. The collection was edited and republished by Oklahoma State University Press in 1978 and under copyright of the Will Rogers Memorial Commission.

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