The Enid News and Eagle, Enid, OK

June 4, 2013

Letter: It takes two to tango

Enid News & Eagle

— Love has a heart and conscience. It takes two to tango: Commitment cannot be forced — so elevate yourself and take responsibility!

(What tragedy and sadness the Arizona trial was about; may justice prevail. We have our views and God has every detail). However, one situation compares (or not) to another — we can learn from one another’s choices and better our lives.

(First, physical and mental abuse hurt children. They have no choice. I never told my parents about one attempted molestation; yet temper — and sometimes alcohol — abused my brother and I with boards, belts and fists).

The devil can be clean-cut, good-looking — and he charms the weak, the immature and the inexperienced. How floweth the “bull” with the honey! Seduction and fantasy should never include children. Now, if a healthy version brings pleasure to two consenting adults — no one is forced!

As a young adult, I lived far from my parents, who had their own issues. I visited on weekends. I chose not to complicate their matters with mine, which I kept secretive: Alcohol — and now drugs — brutalized me. Many mornings I had vertigo. Friends and co-workers knew the truth. Remaining in abusive situations risks psychological scarring and worse. Your health deserves better!

With healthy romance, respect sets limits, crosses no boundaries and will not mess with sensitivity. It realizes when intimacy waits for marriage, there are special benefits. Intimacy will neither manipulate nor dominate. A gentleman opens the door for a lady. Differences in religion, ethnicity, etc., will never matter. Thus, respect won’t push you to the background and it won’t isolate that relationship.

Unless you are held captive, you are free to walk. You deserve better!

Mary J. Grapes