The Enid News and Eagle, Enid, OK

November 20, 2013

Will Rogers Daily Telegrams 11-21-2013

By Will Rogers
Enid News and Eagle

ENID, Okla. — ROGERS LOSING CONFIDENCE IN EVEN WAR BEING ON THE LEVEL

CHICAGO, Ill. — Jan. 5, 1927. Been listening all day here to baseball testimony. Just discovered ex-court-martialed soldier who swears Germans were bought off by Pershing in last series on Marne. I am losing confidence in even the Civil War having been on the level.

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MR. ROGERS MUSES ON RED TAPE AFTER WAR AND BULLETS IN WAR

DETROIT, Mich. — Jan. 6, 1927. I see where a lot of banks are refusing the soldier boys loans on their adjusted compensations on account of too much red tape to handle. Not quite as much tape for them as it was to him to go to war, though there is at least no bullets in it.

Thank goodness there will be no more wars. Now you tell one.

P.S. – Am in Detroit to get a patrol wagon that will haul actors with dignity and comfort.

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MAYOR ROGERS CLASSIFIES THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN

ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Jan. 7, 1927. Am lecturing before University of Michigan tonight on “Better Government by Poorer Officials.” The great biologist, Professor Little, is President of the school. He took the position so he could combine the study of students with that of guinea pigs. Yours mayorally,

P.S. – You will remember this school more readily when I tell you it’s the one that Benny Friedman and Benny Oosterbaan are building the new stadium for. Michigan’s scholastic standing is a field goal better than any university in the Middle West.

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WILL ROGERS SEES WASHINGTON COMPETING WITH HUMORISTS

RICHMOND, Ind. — Jan. 9, 1927. You want to know why we are so funny to the rest of the world? Here we are sending warships to tell Nicaragua who to seat after their election and we haven’t got a Senator that was elected here last Fall that will be allowed to sit down. I wish I was as funny as that is. My opposition is getting unusually keen in Washington just in the last few days. The Mayor is being driven slowly into the drama.

P.S. — What did you do, father, in the great war of Nicaragua?

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WILL ROGERS REMARKS

ST. LOUIS, Mo. — Jan. 10, 1927. We say that Diaz is the properly elected president of Nicaragua, but Brazil, Argentina, Peru, Chile, Mexico, Ecuador, Costa Rica, Cuba, Guatemala, Colombia, Uruguay, Paraguay? All those say that the other fellow is the properly elected president. It’s funny how we are the only ones that get everything right. I’d rather be right than Republican.

Will Rogers.



Enid News & Eagle is republishing Will Rogers’ daily syndicated column, Daily Telegrams, in chronological order. The collection was edited and republished by Oklahoma State University Press in 1978 and under copyright of the Will Rogers Memorial Commission.ú