ENID, Okla. —
WILL ROGERS FINDS CONGRESS INTERESTED IN THAT SURPLUS
WASHINGTON, D. C. — Dec. 11, 1926. Have spent the entire day watching our two great lawmaking bodies in action. The Senate debated all day on whether to have the bridge that they are building between Oregon and Washington white or orange colored. Dawes sat there so bored he looked like he could have murdered the ones that gave him his job.
Congress is just sitting around waiting with suggestions as to how to divide up the $350,000,000 surplus. Coolidge made a big mistake by ever telling them he had it at all.
They won’t get a thing done till they get that split up some way among their voters.
Sol Bloom and Copeland are looking after New York’s interest.
Yours for the common people’s share,
WILL ROGERS ADVOCATES SINGLE STANDARD OF ALIMONY
WASHINGTON, D. C. — Dec. 12, 1926. Say, it looks like this Count Slam-Von-Hogsa-Trottin is going to get his alimony. If he does it will be encouragement for home talent husbands to be allowed something.
Yours for single standard of alimony,
P. S., It’s late Sunday night here. Farmers have received no more relief than the cotton stocking manufacturers.
WILL ROGERS OFFERS ADVICE TO THE GIRL BANK ROBBER
SCRANTON, Pa. — Dec. 13, 1926. See where the female secretary of my friend, Dan Moody, Governor-elect of Texas, has traded her typewriter for an automatic and been doing a little trick and fancy bank robbing in between dictations.
If she will plead guilty and can get in jail before Ma Ferguson’s time expires on January first, Ma will pardon her.
Hurray for Dan Moody, A. and M. and West Texas. Yours,
MR. ROGERS SUGGESTS HOW A FORTUNE CAN BE MADE
JAMESTOWN, N. Y. — Dec. 14,1926. A fortune is in store in this country for the person that can make something out of slightly used Rumanian flags.
Yours for a universal visiting flag.
ROGERS ‘WORKING REASONABLE,’ COMPARED WITH THE CHORUS
PITTSBURGH, Pa. — Dec. 15, 1926. Miss Marion Talley wouldn’t sing ‘cause she didn’t get her three thousand. That just reminds me, Pittsburgh hasn’t handed me my one-hundred-dollar bill for tonight yet, and there won’t be a Vare vote-buying joke told till I get the hundred in my paws. If New Rochelle wants opera for the first time and Pittsburgh wants high-brow humor for the first time, let ‘em dig up for it.
Yours for a mixture of commerce and art,
P. S. One of our Follies chorus girls got $50,000 out of Pittsburgh last week. I think Marion and I are working reasonable.
MR. ROGERS’ IDEA OF THE SENATE SEEMS IN LINE WITH GOV. SMALL’S
WILKES-BARRE, Pa. — Dec. 16, 1926. I see where Governor Hard Surface Road Len Small appointed this fellow Smith to go up to the Senate now. He was not supposed to be thrown out of there till next session. It looks like a wise move to get the verdict six months in advance and put everybody out of their misery. Seat ‘em! Cheap Senators never got a country anywhere.
Enid News & Eagle is republishing Will Rogers’ daily syndicated column, Daily Telegrams, in chronological order. The collection was edited and republished by Oklahoma State University Press in 1978 and under copyright of the Will Rogers Memorial Commission.