The Enid News and Eagle, Enid, OK

Opinion

October 17, 2013

Will Rogers Daily Telegrams 10-17-13

ENID, Okla. — WILL ROGERS CONTINUES HIS WESTERN TRAVELOGUE

KANSAS CITY, Mo., Nov. 16, 1926. — Arrived in Kansas City, following in wake of Cal and Marie. Town sore on receptions. All that met me was a Red Cap. Saw the much discussed monument. It was to commemorate peace, but has caused war.

Chevrolet dealer has again been allowed to join our train. Only had two punctures on way to Grand Royal Bull judging contest, the only thing put on in my honor.

My wife wants me to quit this banqueting around and sail for California before Christmas present buying time; but the more traveling the more articles.

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SUGGESTIONS FROM MR. ROGERS ON WAR AND CONSCRIPTION

TOPEKA, Kan., Nov. 17, 1926. — Mr. Coolidge said in the next war we would draft wealth as well as men. Now everybody is arguing if it’s practical. Why not postpone having the next war till the cause for it is so popular that you won’t have to conscript either of them? If you will wait till we are invaded and everybody knows what they are fighting for, you won’t need conscription.

Yours from Kansas, the comedy relief of the United States.

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MR. ROGERS IS FOR FEWER CULTS AND FOR MORE CULTIVATION

WICHITA, Kan., Nov. 18, 1926. — I see where they captured old King Ben, the perpetual sheik of Michigan. They have been looking for him for four years, everywhere but in the harem where he has been for twenty years.

Ben is head of a cult. Their side line is to cult-tie-vate whiskers. What we need is less cults and more cultivation.

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FARMERS AND FILLING STATIONS DRAW WILL ROGERS’S COMMENT

DENVER, Col., Nov. 19, 1926. — Hit Denver and ran into another farmers’ conference, passing resolutions for relief. What the farmers need to pass is filling stations and they won’t need to pass resolutions. Colorado voted dry and now they are blaming it onto the altitude.

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WILL ROGERS GIVES A BOOST TO WESTERN FOOTBALL TEAMS

WRAY, Col., Nov. 21, 1926. — Harvard and Yale played Saturday, as usual, to decide which was the worst team in America. Harvard students have completed more English courses and less forward passes than any school in this generation. They got correspondence school teams out West here that they have to handcuff to keep them from going and beating Harvard and Yale.

Yours for new touchdown talent.

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WILL ROGERS ENTERS CHICAGO WITH CERTAIN MISGIVINGS

ST. JOSEPH, Mo., Nov. 22, 1926. — Playing Chicago tomorrow night, perhaps. Hope I reach the stage before the machine gun bullets lay me low. I want to go with by chaps on. Everybody in America has been good to me and I love you all, even critics and Congressmen.

P.S. Don’t try to find who did it. I don’t want any exception made in my case.

Enid News & Eagle is republishing Will Rogers’ daily syndicated column, Daily Telegrams, in chronological order. The collection was edited and republished by Oklahoma State University Press in 1978 and under copyright of the Will Rogers Memorial Commission.

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