The Enid News and Eagle, Enid, OK

October 24, 2013

What were you thinking? A good question

By Jeff Mullin, columnist
Enid News and Eagle

ENID, Okla. — What were you thinking?

It’s a fair question, and one I suspect we’ve all been asked from time to time.

I’ve heard it so much, it has almost become part of my name.

It’s a question some Republicans in Congress must be asking themselves these days.

They shut down the government in order to rid the country of the Affordable Care Act and instead pushed us to the brink of possible default and potential financial disaster. In the end, all they wound up doing is hurting America’s worldwide reputation and costing our economy as much as $24 billion.

What were you thinking?

That’s a fair question for the woman who was attacked by a tiger at Garold Wayne Interactive Zoological Park in Wynnewood.

The attack happened when the woman stuck her arm inside the tiger’s enclosure. The last time I checked, even caged tigers are wild animals.

What were you thinking?

That’s what a Utah Boy Scout leader who took it upon himself to knock over a desert rock formation dating to the Jurassic era must be asking himself.

Dumping over the ancient rock was bad enough, but the deed was captured on video, which clearly showed Glenn Taylor using considerable strength to tip over the huge chunk of sandstone, which weighs close to a ton.

Not only did the act get Taylor and the guy who shot the video, Dave Hall, kicked out of the Boy Scouts, but it put a crimp in Taylor’s lawsuit claiming he was disabled by a 2009 auto accident in which his vehicle was rear-ended by a teenage driver. The suit claims he “endured great pain and suffering, disability, impairment and loss of joy of life.” Uh-huh.

What were you thinking?

Whoever it was who decided to design the Web page for signing up for health insurance under the Affordable Care Act and use outdated, inadequate software, must be asking themselves the same thing.

What were you thinking?

Then there is the German Roman Catholic bishop who spent $42 million to renovate his personal residence, which now includes such indulgences as a $20,000 bathtub. What about that whole vow of poverty thing? He was suspended from his diocese on Wednesday.

What were you thinking?

In Sweden, a woman allegedly stole items from a man’s apartment and slapped him with a fish as he was sleeping, to boot.

The 60-something-year-old man was snoozing when a woman, also in her 60s, allegedly stole $310 from him and took food from his refrigerator, then slapped him across the face with a mackerel. Holy ... well, you know.

What were you thinking?

The London Fire Brigade made a rather unusual run not long ago when they were called out to free a man who had a body part stuck in a kitchen appliance. The kitchen appliance was a toaster, while the body part was the thing that makes a man a man, and I don’t mean his Adam’s apple.

What were you ... never mind, anyone who would do anything like that doesn’t spend much time thinking, if any.

A couple in Speedway, Ind., were drinking together when an argument ensued. The verbal kerfuffle quickly escalated into a physical confrontation.

During the scuffle, the man took the woman’s pants and threw them into some trees behind the motel in which they were staying.

When police arrived, the woman was wearing only a shirt. Then, when the cops questioned the man, he invited them to kiss his derriere, at which point he dropped his pants and mooned them.

The man, who was arrested on charges of disorderly conduct and public intoxication, undoubtedly became the butt of many jokes at the police station.

What were you thinking?

Then there was the Oklahoma man found last summer ogling a woman and her daughter from inside the septic tank beneath a water park bathroom. Naturally he was covered with human waste and had to be hosed off after he was pinched by police.

What part of that sounded like a good idea, even for an instant?

What were you thinking?

In Mountain City, Tenn., employees at a Dollar General store called animal control officers to help remove a squirrel from their building. The squirrel, it seems, was driving the management nuts.

When the animal control officer was unavailable, another policeman responded. He took quick, if rather unadvised, action, firing his gun inside the store, as well as spraying the animal with mace and pepper spray, all the while customers were present.

The officer got rid of the squirrel, all right, in fact, he killed him. But he also lost his job.

What were you thinking?

If you’re like me, you never have a really good answer to that question.



Mullin is senior writer of the News & Eagle. Email him at jmullin@enidnews.com.