The Enid News and Eagle, Enid, OK

Opinion

March 31, 2014

Will Rogers Daily Telegrams 4-1-14

ENID, Okla. — MR. ROGERS EXTENDS HIS OWN INVITATION TO COL. LINDBERGH

CALIFORNIA HOSPITAL, Hollywood, Cal., June 22, 1927. — Every town in the world is urging Lindbergh to come there and be entertained, to make speeches and drive for hours through cheering crowds. In other words, they absolutely guarantee that he will be all in when he leaves their town.

As down-and-out Mayor of the “best little town” between Los Angeles and Sawtelle, I hereby officially write Colonel Charles A. Lindbergh to visit Beverly Hills, and guarantee we will give him no parades, he is to make no speeches, thank us for no medals and attend no privately arranged parties.

We just want him to come and buy a lot.

His Honor Will Rogers.

P. S. — Just saw the scar. If they charge by the inch, that operation will be the serious one.

P. S. — Harry Carr, I want to thank you. You know us joke fellows don’t get many thanks for nice things we sometimes say about people and I sho’ want to thank you.

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WILL ROGERS COMMENTS ON TENDERNESS FOR THE WORM

CALIFORNIA HOSPITAL, LOS ANGELES, Cal., June 23, 1927. — The West sho’ has tamed. The Society for the Protection of Single and Unmatured Worms won’t let Calvin load his hook with one.

Next they’ll be requiring an anesthetic be given the fish. Why, anybody that knows Cal knows he wouldn’t harm a fish or a worm.

Besides, who knows when they will grow up and have a vote? Stranger things are voting now.

Yours,

Will.

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WILL ROGERS MUSES A BIT ON A WORLD OF OPERATIONS

LOS ANGELES, Cal., June 24, 1927. — One half the world may not know how the other half lives, but if all the letters and telegrams I get are not liars, I can tell you what the other half have been operated on for.

They have sewed me up with so much cat I am having a back fence built at home and will use that instead of a bed.

Yours, the howling Mayor,

Will Rogers.

P. S. — I guess I am not missing anything by being laid up because all of my prominent friends have left town any how waiting for the grand jury indictments.

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WILL ROGERS SEES ONLY ONE WAY TO HAVE A NAVY IN THESE DAYS

LOS ANGELES, Cal., June 26, 1927. — Didn’t I tell you what would happen at that disarmament conference? The reason the Washington one did anything at all was because we did all the sinking. England is not going to sit quietly around a table and agree to let somebody have as big a navy as hers. You don’t get navies that way.

There is about only one practical way of getting a navy nowadays. That is to go out and build one.

Will Rogers.

Enid News & Eagle is republishing Will Rogers’ daily syndicated column, Daily Telegrams, in chronological order. The collection was edited and republished by Oklahoma State University Press in 1978 and under copyright of the Will Rogers Memorial Commission.

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