By Will Rogers
Enid News and Eagle
ENID, Okla. —
MR. ROGERS WELCOMES QUEEN AND TELLS WHY HE IS GRATEFUL
SPARTANBURG, S. C. — Oct. 18, 1926. Welcome to Queen Marie. Bless her heart! America will always owe her a debt of gratitude for running Peaches and Aimee McPherson back among the want ads.
P. S., This is Spartanburg, a real town where the Twenty-seventh New York Division trained for Democracy!
MR. ROGERS WANTS A DIVORCE FROM THE BROWNING CASE
ATLANTA, Ga. — Oct. 19, 1926. Browning and Peaches are suing for divorce. We hope they will be happy. Now, if the newspapers will just get a divorce from both of them the whole of America will be happy.
QUEEN’S VISIT MOVES ROGERS TO REMARKS ON AMERICANISM
MONTGOMERY, Ala. — Oct. 20, 1926. It took two weeks to coach New York politicians how to dress and act to meet the Queen so they all looked like twins and spoke the same little piece. Americans are getting like a Ford carthey all have the same parts, the same upholstering and all make exactly the same noises.
WILL ROGERS IS MOVED TO COVER THE NEWS IN VERSE
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Oct. 21, 1926. Here is all the news there is today in the Memphis papers:
Peaches lost her Papa;
Ford’s curtailing toil;
Marie is selling her dairy,
And Aimee’s got a boil.
MR. ROGERS REPORTS PROGRESS FROM A TOUR OF OKLAHOMA
ADA, Okla. — Oct. 22, 1926. Queen Marie, the ballyhooing Balkan, had nothing on me for a turnout when I hit Oklahoma today. It looked like Alexander returning from the series to Nebraska.
Did you read about the fellow yesterday in Los Angeles remembering seeing Aimee change clothes in her car No wonder he remembers.
This Ada sounds like a girl, but it’s not. And it’s not a town; it’s a city. This is the only authentic and authorized daily diary of my American trip. It’s a wonderful country.
WILL ROGERS SUGGESTS A USE FOR SOUTH’S BIG COTTON CROP
MUSKOGEE, Okla. — Oct. 23, 1926. Just arrived back home in Oklahoma in time to solve the problem of too much cotton in the South. Let everybody put it in their ears to keep from hearing campaign speeches.
Still running neck and neck with Marie. The Banker’s Club of Claremore are going to give me a lunch, more exclusive than her bankers lunch. Just he and I alone.
WILL ROGERS FINDS ODD PEOPLE AND A WONDERFUL COUNTRY
JOPLIN, Mo. — Oct. 24, 1926. You meet the oddest people on your travels. I met a fellow who did not claim to be in Lovers’ Lane the night of the Hall-Mills murder. If they had charged admission to that they would have made more than the Dempsey-Tunney fight. You people certainly have a wonderful country in this America, and I am thoroughly enjoying my trip.
MR. ROGERS ANTICPATES THE QUEEN’S RANCH VISIT
PONCA CITY, Okla. — Oct. 25, 1926. Am at Miller Brothers’ 101 Ranch just ahead of the Queen’s visit here. She will love it. It’s just the size of Rumania, only more conveniences. There is a bathroom here to every revolution there. Cowboys sleep in silk pajamas, round-up in Rolls-Royces and dress for dinner. If I were the King I wouldn’t trust her with this outfit.
These open faces out here are marvelous.
POLITICAL NOTE BY MR. ROGERS ON THE SITUATION IN OKLAHOMA
OKMULGEE, Okla. — Oct. 26, 1926. Oklahoma is a doubtful State, and after hearing all the candidates on both sides, it’s still doubtful what good any of them will be to it.
Mine is the only authentic tour of America that is getting anywhere. All others are balking.
Enid News & Eagle is republishing Will Rogers’ daily syndicated column, Daily Telegrams, in chronological order. The collection was edited and republished by Oklahoma State University Press in 1978 and under copyright of the Will Rogers Memorial Commission.