By Will Rogers
Enid News and Eagle
ENID, Okla. —
WILL ROGERS’S COMMENT ON COURSE OF EVENTS IN CHINA
SPOKANE, Wash., March 27, 1927. — Smedley Butler has arrived in China. The war may continue but the parties will stop.
WILL ROGERS’S OPINION OF AMERICANS IN CHINA
MISSOULA, Mont., March 28, 1927. — Any person that will stay in the middle of a civil war for six months and don’t know enough to even send his family out, it won’t do much good to rescue him. You bring him back home and he will run right in front of a Ford. We had to shell that Chinese town to let our people know it was time to come out and be rescued.
Yours for home missions.
MR. ROGERS MORALIZES A BIT ON INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS
BUTTE, Mont., March 29, 1927. — A nation is just like an individual. If a man’s neighbors all hate him and he is continually in trouble, and all his fights and troubles are always over in the other fellow’s yard, he must be wrong.
If he won’t stay at home what he needs is a good licking or a muzzle.
P. S. — Flew in here two miles high over the snow-covered mountains from Missoula and just been down a mile under the ground. There’s nothing to see on the level any more.
MR. ROGERS SEES US DISARMING IF WE HAVE TO DO IT ALONE
HELENA, Mont., March 30, 1927. — France and Italy won’t join us in disarmament, but that don’t worry us. We will do it alone.
If nobody wants to disarm with us, we will show ’em we are right. We will shame ’em into it — if we have to sink our last life preserver to do it.
OUR WEST LIKE SWITZERLAND IF OUR FARMERS WOULD YODLE
GREAT FALLS, Mont., March 31, 1927. — Just flew into this great little Western city, late home of Charles M. Russell, the painter. He will live in history as America’s most famous cowboy. And his country talks about scenery.
I flew over mountains today that make Switzerland look like a prairie dog town. If we could get our mountain farmers to wear feathers in their hats and yodle, we would be as picturesque as Switzerland.
Maybe the farmers will yodle when they get relieved. They will have time to learn, anyway.
MR. ROGERS SUGGESTS MEANS OF IDENTIFYING ADVERTISERS
BILLINGS, Mont., April 1, 1927. — Say, Henry Ford getting hurt in a Ford car was kind of a knock against the Lincoln, wasn’t it?
Since we found out Ford uses his own product I suppose every man we see eating corn flakes we will think is Kellogg, every guy chewing gum is Wrigley. If he shaves himself we will think it’s Gillette. If he is well powdered it’s Mennen.
If it’s three fellows with store clothes on it will perhaps be Hart, Schaffner and Marx, and if it’s a bird nearly naked it’s Mr. B. V. D.
Enid News & Eagle is republishing Will Rogers’ daily syndicated column, Daily Telegrams, in chronological order. The collection was edited and republished by Oklahoma State University Press in 1978 and under copyright of the Will Rogers Memorial Commission.