The Enid News and Eagle, Enid, OK

Opinion

July 2, 2014

Will Rogers Daily Telegrams 7-4-14

ENID, Okla. — WILL ROGERS HOPES TO JOIN THE FESS-MAGRUDER CLUB

BEVERLY HILLS, Cal., Oct. 28, 1927. — Col. T. Coleman Du Pont, United States Senator from Delaware, has lost use of his vocal cords. Now I feel sincerely sorry for his personal discomfiture, but if his ailment could be made contagions and he distribute it among his brother members of the Senate his illness would prove to be a tremendous national blessing.

Since Senator Fess has been reprimanded for complimenting Coolidge, and Magruder has Philadelphia sunk from under him, I have been accused of being lax in my national criticism for fear of exile. I want to say that I am only trying to think up something terrible enough to say.

Yours,

Will Rogers.

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WILL ROGERS ON RANCHES, CONGRESSMEN AND CATTLE

SAN SIMEON, Cal., Oct. 30, 1927, 3:50 P. M. — The fellows that keep saying big ranches are all done away with ought to see this one, 300,000 acres.

If this was back East they could call it Delaware, Maryland, Connecticut and Rhode Island, and eight Senators and twenty-five Congressmen would have to live off it. Out here that much beautiful land don’t have to support a thing but wonderful cattle and horses. You can just tell the difference when you look at land that has to support a Senator or a white-faced bull.

Yours,

Will Rogers.

P. S. — Yours for more cattle and less Congressmen.

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WILL ROGERS MAKES CONTRAST BETWEEN AUTO AND PLANE DEATHS

SANTA BARBARA, Cal., Oct. 31, 1927. — Five people killed in plane yesterday and it is headlined today in every paper. Saturday in Los Angeles at one grade crossing seven were killed and six wounded and the papers didn’t even publish the names.

It looks like the only way you can get any publicity on your death is to be killed in a plane. It’s no novelty to be killed in an auto any more.

Yours,

Will Rogers.

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WILL ROGERS ASKS $20 FEE TO JOIN ‘AMERICA ONLY’ CLUB

BEVERLY HILLS, Cal., Nov. 1, 1927. — Mayor Bill Thompson of Chicago has started a society called “America First.” You send $10 to defray the expenses of trying to keep it “first.” Bill has the nucleus of a good idea, but, like any good idea, it’s the improvements that make it.

So I hereby offer stock in a society called “America Only” at $20 a share. Why be only first Let’s be the whole thing. Why spend $10 to be in front when $10 more will put you in front, behind and in the middle all at the same time If everybody in America will give me $20 I will be more than glad to show them where we are the “only nation in the world.” Besides, this money will not all revert to me. A small percentage will be spent in exterminating all other nations.

Who’ll be the first to display super-patriotism and join “America Only”

Yours,

Will Rogers.

Founder and Treasurer.

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WILL ROGERS GETS MORAL AID, BUT NO DUES FOR HIS SOCIETY

FIRST NATIONAL STUDIOS, BURBANK, Cal., Nov. 2, 1927. — I am hearing already from my “America Only” Society. Have received several wires, collect. Everybody is interested, but nobody has sent dues.

I have yet to find a legitimate excuse for any other nation existing at all.

Yours,

Will Rogers.

P. S. — Just received applications from two Washington jurors.

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Enid News & Eagle is republishing Will Rogers’ daily syndicated column, Daily Telegrams, in chronological order. The collection was edited and republished by Oklahoma State University Press in 1978 and under copyright of the Will Rogers Memorial Commission.

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