The Enid News and Eagle, Enid, OK

Opinion

April 21, 2014

Will Rogers Daily Telegrams 4-22-14

ENID, Okla. — THOUGHTS ON MONARCHIES BY MAYOR ROGERS OF BEVERLY

BEVERLY HILLS, Cal., July 21, 1927. — When they crowned the little King Michael yesterday over in Rumania the only words he uttered were: “Come on mamma, let’s go home. I am hungry.”

That’s the truest words ever uttered by a King, for the best thing they do is eat. However, I saw the movies of the last inauguration and Mr. Coolidge looked so bored it looked like he said: “I wish they would hurry up and get done here, Grace. I am getting hungry.”

Lots of people over here think the Rumanian King is too young. You can’t get ’em too young. The younger they are the better Kings they make.

Yours,

Will.

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QUICKEST TO LICK DEMPSEY WITH A LAWSUIT, ROGERS SAYS

BEVERLY HILLS, Cal., July 22, 1927. — This fight proves one thing: You can lick Dempsey quicker with a lawsuit than you can with a boxing glove.

Tunney better start hiring Kearns to drag out the old injunctions. Give me a lawsuit against him with enough figures on it and I believe I can lick Dempsey.

Sharkey lost, like thousands lose out in life every day, because he stopped to argue. He put his hands down to gab with the referee when he ought to have had them up. And naturally Dempsey pasted him.

I tell you a prize ring is no place for superfluous conversation.

A born referee.

William.

P. S. — I know the papers don’t mention it and maybe I shouldn’t, but let’s be truthful out here among ourselves, ain’t it hot

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WILL ROGERS PUTS IN A WORD FOR THE, PREACHERS’ WIVES

HOLLYWOOD, Cal., July 24, 1927. — Since Judge Lindsey’s ceremonial upheaval preachers are all trying to prove that the old-time marriages are the best and point to their own as example.

That’s fine; but how about the preachers’ wives’ opinion I want to hear from them. I believe there is some of those deserving sisters, if they had had a trial marriage, wouldn’t be where they are today.

There’s a race of people that I would like to see something done for, even before we exterminate Nicaragua!

A friend of the preacher but a true sympathizer with the wives.

Deacon Rogers.

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MAYOR ROGERS TELLS THAT HE IS READY TO MARRY BUD STILLMAN

BEVERLY HILLS, Cal., July 25, 1927. — Mrs. Stillman and the girl sweetheart’s family are trying to tip each other’s canoe. Mrs. Stillman says they are very primitive people. The Canuck family say, “It ain’t Bud we are leery of; it’s too much mother-in-law that scares us.”

Now I wouldn’t call a suspicion like that exactly primitive. Ma Stillman says she wants the girl to keep on learning. The girl figures if she knew enough to cop Bud she knows enough to hold him.

Bring ’em to Beverly. I will marry ’em.

The Mayor.

P. S. — On account of the visibility, it took Lindbergh two days to find Portland, Me. He will be so old his whiskers will catch in the propeller before he can see Pittsburgh.

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POLITICAL AND PUGILISTIC COMMENT FROM MAYOR ROGERS

BEVERLY HILLS, Cal., July 26, 1927. — My old friend Nick Longworth is out here setting some traps. Nick has been seeing what it is you can promise a farmer that will relieve him. Whatever it is, Nick will promise it to him.

With Longworth and Dempsey both here, the local Rotary and Chamber of Commerce are all set for talent. Dempsey hit Sharkey so hard in the jaw that he had to stop talking. Sharkey claimed he was fouled.

Any time you stop Sharkey talking he has been fouled.

The Mayor.

Enid News & Eagle is republishing Will Rogers’ daily syndicated column, Daily Telegrams, in chronological order. The collection was edited and republished by Oklahoma State University Press in 1978 and under copyright of the Will Rogers Memorial Commission.

 

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