The Enid News and Eagle, Enid, OK

December 16, 2013

Will Rogers Daily Telegrams 12-17-13

By Will Rogers
Enid News and Eagle

ENID, Okla. — WILL ROGERS DISCUSSES BRITISH PARLIAMENT OPENING

SARASOTA, Fla., Feb. 9, 1927. — The King opened Parliament yesterday. The Prince of Wales got his sword and his robe and his legs mixed up, and furnished what the papers called the comedy element. But get this one. I think the King furnished his quota of humor with the following:

“My relations with China are friendly and I have dispatched warships there to express my good feeling.”

The King evidently gave more thought to his wardrobe than he did to his speech. This shows why Kings don’t have jesters any more. They don’t need ’em.

*****

WILL ROGERS IN PALM BEACH SO MORAL HE WAS UNINTERESTING

PALM BEACH, Fla., Feb. 10, 1927. — Terrible wave of immorality sweeping the stage. My performance in Palm Beach tonight was witnessed by jury of moralists composed of E. F. Albee, Lee Shubert, Marcus Loew, Adolph Zukor, Edgar Selwyn, Arthur Hammerstein, Joe Leblang, Mrs. Stotesbury and Ben Bernie. They pronounced the performance so clean that it was uninteresting.

The Evangelist Mayor.

P.S. – Length of season here depends on amount of your money. Mine lasted from 8:30 Thursday to 11 p.m. same day. I didn’t think it worth while to take a cottage.

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WILL ROGERS MEDITATES ABOUT FARMERS’ RELIEF

TAMPA, Fla., Feb. 11, 1927. — One thing about farmers’ relief: It can’t last long, for the farmers ain’t got much more to be relieved of.

A farmer that knows, Cocklebur Rogers.

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MAYOR ROGERS SENDS AN ITEM ON THE STATE OF FLORIDA

MACON, Ga., Feb. 12, 1927. — Just come out from a ten-day tour of Florida. Didn’t see a real estate man on entire trip. Everybody in bathing suits, nobody bathing.

They are taking their misfortune like real sports and have reconciled themselves to being the second best resort State in America. They have drained the golf courses and you don’t have to play with a ball that will float any more.

If they could ever starve those natives into working, Florida would be a second Germany. Even old Georgia has picked up since Ty was restored.

Touring the Rotary belt, The Mayor.

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WILL ROGERS PRESENTS HIS IDEA OF FARM RELIEF

AUGUSTA, Ga., Feb. 13, 1927. — Here is my Farm Relief bill: Every time a Southerner plants nothing on his farm but cotton year after year, and the Northerner nothing but wheat or corn, why, take a hammer and hit him twice right between the eyes.

You may dent your hammer, but it will do more real good than all the McNary-Haugen bills you can pass in a year.

Old Doc Rogers.

Enid News & Eagle is republishing Will Rogers’ daily syndicated column, Daily Telegrams, in chronological order. The collection was edited and republished by Oklahoma State University Press in 1978 and under copyright of the Will Rogers Memorial Commission.