The Enid News and Eagle, Enid, OK

Enid Features

April 1, 2014

The lovability factor

ENID, Okla. — Are you lovable? Think about it.

It seems to me that the people who are loved the most, are those who are lovable and thinking of others. We cannot make someone love us. All we can do is be someone who can be loved and realize our own self worth. Usually those who are lovable have a good self image. They know they deserve being loved and it shows in their lives and the way they conduct their daily living. People who deserve being loved also show a great deal of love to others.

The most thoughtful, considerate people are usually surrounded by people who respect and care for them. They think more of other people than they think about themselves. They give much of themselves to making others happy and comfortable. They feel compassion for those less fortunate. They feel sorrow when others feel sorrow. They feel hunger when others are hungry. They only want what is best for their friends and others.

The lovable people I know are fun to be around. They are happy, upbeat, considerate people. They don’t complain or whine. They do have problems, but they see the bright side of life. They count their blessings and not their troubles. They are grateful, appreciative people. Is it any wonder they are lovable? They are a joy to be around. They listen. They care. They think beyond themselves.

I was raised around lovable people. Of course, my grandparents (or any grandparents I have ever known) were lovable. They were non-judgmental. They saw only beauty around them. They always believed we would turn out just fine. They knew we were from “good stock” and that fruit (or nuts) did not fall far from the tree. We would never have disappointed them.

Parents, on the other hand, have the responsibility of raising their children so they do not accept everything we do (or did) as perfect. It is their job to guide, discipline and lead. That guidance means they are caring and loving. Their firm guidance is what made us lovable in the long run.

Our family, when I was growing up, were not real demonstrative with our love, but we knew it was there. Our family joked and kidded a lot. Still, to this day, I will not kid around with someone I don’t really love. Some people might think it is sarcasm, but in our family it means affection and acceptance. I have never quite understood people who cannot kid or take a joke. They miss so very much.

Kids can tell when parents and grandparents and families love each other. Their love is partly what shapes us into being lovable ourselves. Children see the kind things their parents do for each other. Every day of my life, I saw my mother lay out Daddy’s clothes on the bed. Partly because he was color-blind, so no telling what he would have selected, but also she did it for him as a labor of love. She also laid out his linens when he took his shower. That was what good wives did!

I can remember Grandma always offered Grandpa the first drink of water when they were working in the wheat field or garden. It was not because she wasn’t thirsty, but she always thought of Grandpa’s needs first. He was the same way about her. They truly loved each other. She knew it. He knew it. And we knew it.

Edgar A. Guest wrote many lovely poems about life and living. This one says a lot about teaching people to be lovable:

“I’d rather see a sermon than hear one any day.

I’d rather one would walk with me than merely tell the way.

The eye’s a better pupil and more willing than the ear.

Fine counsel is confusing, but example’s always clear.

And the best of all the preachers are the men who live their creeds,

For to see good put in action is what everybody needs.”

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