Published: May 10, 2008 12:17 am            

Treasures in heaven

The first time I held her, she was a squirming fur ball of joy, and as I took her home I just hoped she wouldn’t go on my lap.

Ballou was one from a litter of two, 17 puppies in all, and when I picked her out to come home with me, she never looked back — for 111/2 years.

The last time I held her was early Monday morning, as she died in my arms. We buried her in the darkness, with her Nylabones — she could never go to sleep without chewing on one first — and Kong, her favorite toy, which I hadn’t had time to toss for her in a while.

After bringing her home for the first time, I remember her seeming so miniscule next to the shoe of my boyfriend, Kevin, who would became my husband and a big part of Ballou’s life. I always wished I had taken a picture. When I fed her, she braced both front paws on on either side of the inside of her food dish and went to town. With 16 littermates, it was no wonder the little scrap had to fight for her food. But it was evident from the beginning what she lacked at the time in size she made up for in heart.

She certainly wormed her way quickly into our hearts, and when she died she nearly ripped mine out.

The death of my dog has sent my faith into a tailspin.

After burying Ballou, I got up from a restless night, and when I couldn’t stand it anymore fired up the computer. The question I Googled: Do dogs go to heaven?

I didn’t like what I found nor what it said about my faith.

According to my quick and brief research, there is nothing in the Bible offering concrete evidence pets will go to heaven. However, there are passages that allude to God opening the doors of heaven to all creatures.

Animals, one Web site states, are amoral, and therefore cannot sin.

There was enough circumstantial evidence to convince me one day I might again witness the warm and loving soul behind the eyes of my little dog who greeted me for so much my life. Plus, I simply want to believe.

But then there was that testimony. The one that puts my faith to shame.

I’ve always struggled with my faith. I’d like to think I’m not alone in that fight — that there are others filled with faith one day only to be dogged by doubt the next.

I often wish I was born in another time, when I perceive a lack of technology made faith seem an easier task. When a miracle was a miracle, and science wouldn’t explain it away.

Numerous times I have wondered what it would have been to live in biblical times, to see Jesus’ wonders with my own eyes and know and believe.

Where have all the miracles gone?

But then I see the face of a child, watch the sun set through the leaves of my oak tree, gaze at the stars, run a horse at full speed, pet the head of my dog and look into her eyes.

And I turn to Job 32:4, “Where was thou when I laid the foundations of the earth? Declare if thou hast understanding.”

Who am I, indeed? Just a woman doing the best I can and thinking most times I do OK.

Until Monday morning.

The story went like this: An older woman walks up to her pastor after losing her pet dog of many years and asks the minister if she will see her dog in heaven.

He answered if she still has a need to see her dog when she reaches heaven then the dog most certainly will be there.

It was the confirmation I sought from a spiritual realm, and a slap in the face.

If there is a heaven, then there is a God, and if there is a God, then he sent his only son to die for my sins so that I might have everlasting life in heaven.

And all I can think about is whether I’ll see my dog when I get there ... or my dad ... or my grandma.

But Jesus did not come to the world to judge it but to save it. I understand only earthly joys and sorrows, and I can only look upon heaven at this time through those glasses. He knows that. After all, He was here, and he knew love and was loved.

Jesus said in John 16:22, “And ye now therefore have sorrow: but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you.”

They were the ones who knew Jesus, and knew sorrow, so maybe I need to get to know him more.

There are many rooms in my father’s house, and there is one he has set for me. It will be so nice to enter that room and see my little dog, to have her get her bone and go to bed and press beside me to sleep as we once did only a short time ago.

I think, now, I will have a need to see her, but I know now I need to find Jesus first.



Hassler is News & Eagle news editor.