The Enid News and Eagle, Enid, OK

Cindy's Corner

August 16, 2011

CINDY'S CORNER: Sometimes it's hard to resist the drama on Facebook


For “seasoned” folks like me, Facebook has become a really neat way to reconnect with old friends and acquaintances. It is also, quite frankly, a good news source because people post things they are doing and things they are interested in, and sometimes that may be a good news or feature story.

But, I also have kind of fascinated with the drama that some folks perpetrate through Facebook. I mean, we have enough drama in our real life, don’t we? It makes me wonder why adults want to create or contribute to drama on their social media site.

Facebook is certainly a way to know what some people are thinking. Every day someone in my friends list will post something political. Usually it’s a YouTube video or an article they like that presents their personal political point of view.

As we know can happen in politics, some of these articles and videos are pretty inflammatory, and if you are of the opposite political persuasion than the viewpoint presented, it is very, very tempting to post your own opinion in the comments section.

Be warned. Don’t do it. There is nothing more frustrating than getting into a political debate on Facebook. You may think you can have a productive political discussion with your friend, but you probably can’t with your friend’s friends. It can get ugly,

Also, I hate those cryptic posts like “I wonder why. . .” or “I’m through trying. . . .”

OK, so what it is you’re really trying to say? Your friends want to know, so they will post asking questions. And, if you don’t give them answers, they get frustrated. 

Here’s a suggestion.  If you REALLY don’t want to talk about it, don’t post something like that. If you want to talk about it, maybe write about it in notes with a more in-depth explanation of what is on your mind; or even better, message your friends whose advice you really want.

And then there are the chronic complainers. They post stuff complaining about this or that. And, then their friends jump on in support and it becomes a mutual admiration society.

Yeah, I’ve stalked some of those Facebook posts. I usually don’t make a comment because I don’t want to get notices in my e-mail box about all the other people who’ve made a comment.

And, don’t get me started about those friends who only get on Facebook to play games, and every time they add something to the game, it posts “so and so just won such and such on this and that game.” Those friends automatically go on the “hide” list, never to be seen again.

I’ve only “de-friended” one person so far. It was a political thing. I just couldn’t take the vitriol.

It can be kind of stressful to think about defriending someone or keeping in touch with all these people. None of us really can keep in touch with 150 to 300 people (and more for the younger folks). I almost feel neglectful if I haven’t checked in on one of my “friends.”

But, I like the world better with Facebook. I really like knowing that I can reach out and connect with an old friend or colleague. You never know when you might need their help or advice. And, if you connect once and that’s it, that’s OK, too. We all move on in our lives.

But, Facebook lets us stay just as connected as we want to. And, if we’re smart adults, we’ll do everything we can to avoid the drama!

Cindy Allen is managing editor of The Enid News & Eagle. She can be reached at


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